So the Golden Globes have been and gone and the starting gun has been fired on awards season. This year’s awards show was very typical stuff, ticking all the right boxes of predictability for the right balance of scandal and ’so-what?’-ity. Champagne flutes were toasted to the names of a year of unexceptional but deserving winners. The host was traditionally drubbed by stars and media alike for being rude and an all round naughty boy. There were stunning frocks on the red carpet, and controversy over the inclusion of the risible Burlesque in nominations. The status quo was maintained, stars with drinking problems got drunk, and nobody cared about Animation despite the fact that the entire world saw an animated film last year.

Starting with Cher because we wish we could end with her, Burlesque was a terrible film that almost seemed to be in there to ensure that the ‘comedy slash musical’ category actually contained a musical. Or perhaps it was more down to the all-expenses-paid trip the judges were treated to? The complementary one where they went to Las Vegas to see Cher perform?. They must have had a conveyor-like refill service for their Wine Glasses to raise this renewed level of interest in Cher. (But hey, Sonny ended up with her for a while, right?). Though to be fair to this terrible, terrible movie, this was a terrible year for comedy and musicals alike. ‘The Tourist’ received a nod, ‘Scott Pilgrim’ received blank faces and Animated Comedy Musical ‘Tangled’ had the misfortune to be animated

Ricky Gervais, meanwhile, seemed set on annoying as many needlessly sensitive, overpaid stars as possible. The problem with Gervais’ delivery was nothing to do with the satire he aspired to: frankly, the stars need taking down a peg or two every now and then. The problem was that nothing he said was original or especially intelligent. Basically, the British are probably still five seasons behind us on South Park.. It was all closeted scientologists, jokes at the expense of Sarah Jessica Parker and edgy observations about the quality of 3D movie dialogue. When at his most insulting, there was glimpses of humour to indulge in. “Welcome to a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or, as Charlie Sheen calls it, breakfast”. Impressed? Perhaps by his gumption. But I wouldn’t send him complementary glassware.